Squirrelflight's Love Talk Show
by NerdyKitty003
Summary: Welcome to Squirrelflight's talk show! This isn't any talk show, though... Squirrelflight is giving you advice on love, and maybe even bringing in others to help! Watch (or read) as Squirrelflight and her assistant, Leafpool, get in countless arguments and give love advice to cats (and reviewers!) around the globe! Rated T cuz it's warriors...
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to Squirrelflight's Love Talk Show! This is just a preview of Squirrelflight and Leafpool getting their show started! Just a reminder: I NEED REVIEWS TO RUN THIS THING! Btw, I don't own warriors.  
**

"You WERE making out with Nightcloud! I saw it and I'm sick of it!" Leafpool screamed into her phone. "Lady, just ragequit! StarClan knows that's what we all do!" Jayfeather (the gamer) called over his shoulder, intent on his Minecraft (no, I don't own Minecraft) Hunger Games (I don't own the Hunger Games, either...). Hollyleaf (the popular girl) snickered over her shoulder, "Yeah, mom! Cool your house, bruh!" Leafpool ignored him and yelled into her phone, "WE ARE DONE, CROWFEATHER!" Throwing her phone across the room, Leafpool let out a long breath and sunk onto the couch. Lionblaze (the sporty kid) walked over to her with a basketball in his hand. "Wanna ball, Leafie?" he asked, dribbling the ball. "Maybe later. Also, don't play basketball in the house, sweetie. The nerve..." she muttered after Lionblaze left. Just then, Squirrelflight came flouncing in while texting on her phone. "Broke up with Crowy again?" she said reassuringly. "Yeah, whatever. Not like he ever cared about me..." Leafpool scowled, looking up at her sister. Squirrelflight smiled. "He cares, don't worry. Think about it... his parents hate you. He said he was at his mom's house, right?" Slowly, Leafpool nodded. "Yeeeees?" "So maybe he was just bluffing it to trick them. You get what I'm saying?" Leafpool slowly smiled. "I get what you're saying..." Squirrelflight grinned back.

Leafpool looked at Squirrelflight closely and said, "You should make a talk show." Squirrelflight looked at her quizzically. "Where did THAT come from?" Embarrassed, Leafpool muttered, "Well, you handle lovey things so well. You could totally help a bunch of cats (and reviewers) with their love lives... I know, it's a stupid idea. Sorry." To Leafpool's surprise, Squirrelflight looked interested. "That's... actually a good idea! I could call over Goldenshine because she has experience with filming... and we could rent the Moonpool Theater! This could be epic!" Puzzled, Leafpool asked, "Wait... so you don't think it's stupid?" "No, dummy, I think it's brilliant! This is perfect! I would be able to help heartbroken cats in need! OMG, this is PERFECT!"

"Can I help, Mom?" Hollyleaf's voice rose above Jayfeather's "What? I got killed by xXTheLagIsRealXx? BUT HE'S A NOOB!" Leafpool ignored them both and said, "I'll call the Star Theater Association Running Clan Love Advice Now (or S.T.A.R.C.L.A.N.) to reserve the Moonpool Theater, get some questions and some answers, and we'll be set!" Squirrelflight nodded enthusiastically. "Let me guess... you want to be on the show, huh?" Leafpool blushed. "Well... was it that obvious?" Squirrelflight said "No," at the same time the kids said "Yes..." Leafpool shot a glare at her kids and nodded at Squirrelflight. "Yes, I want to be on the show..." Squirrelflight smiled half encouragingly, half demonically. "Well then, you can be my assistant."

 **Ok, so I'm going to update this when I get at least three responses to this message from a heartbroken Clan cat. You guys (the reviewers) have the job of answering the prompt! I'm not a love expert, so I need suggestions from you guys. I'll pick my favorite (though I'm sure all of the responses are great) for Squirrelflight to announce to the heartbroken cat. Also, if you have a heartbroken cat message to submit feel free to! The next "episode" will feature them setting up this show and replying to the message below:**

 _ **Dear SLTS:**_

 ** _I have had a crush on this tom for the longest time. We used to be in the same Clan, but then he moved Clans to be with his mother (because he's half Clan). We used to like each other when we were in WindClan, but we were too nervous to tell each other. Now that he's in ShadowClan, I wish I had told him back then. I know we aren't supposed to be in relationships with cats from other Clans, but I can't stop thinking about him. I don't know if he likes me back, though. I never see him on any patrols, but I do always see him at Gatherings. I always stare at him, of course. He stares back sometimes, but not too often. I don't know if he still likes me back as much as he did, but I still like him. Maybe even more then before. Please help, Squirrelflight!_**

 ** _Sincerely,_**

 ** _Shimmerlake_**


	2. Shimmerlake's Heartbreak and Kidnapping

**Squirrelflight's Love Talk Show**

 **I'm back! Yayayayay! :3 I liked all of the responses ya'll gave me, so I'm gonna smush them together and make one awesome response! :) Here we go, with the rushing of the first day!**

"Hurry up, slowpokes! We're on in 5 minutes!" Squirrelflight heard Goldenshine yell from across the room. Ignoring Hollyleaf's whiny "Can I help?" she rushed up onto the stage, calling to Leafpool. "Come ON! The show's starting any minute now!" People were already starting to file into the theater to watch the live premiere. **(- I don't think I used that in the right way... xD)** Squirrelflight looked around at the untidy set around her. Leafpool was hurrying in with so much makeup she looked like a clown, Goldenshine was busy trying to figure out which way the camera went, and the security guards, Thistleclaw and Hawkfrost, were trying to keep Hollyleaf off the stage. Squirrelflight shook her head, wondering if Hollyleaf would ever give up. When Goldenshine finally righted the camera, she checked her watch and she yelled to Squirrelflight, "WE'VE GOT THIRTY SECONDS! GET THAT STUFF OFF LEAFPOOL'S FACE!" Leafpool glared at her. "I look fine!" "No, you don't!" came a chorus from the crowd. "Shut up!" Leafpool hissed at them and sat down on her fluffy pink chair. Squirrelflight rolled her eyes and sat on her plush green chair. "Start recording!" she called to Goldenshine. "What?!" Leafpool half yelled.

Goldenshine gave Squirrelflight the thumbs up as Leafpool's mouth dropped into a scowl. Ignoring her sister, Squirrelflight flashed the camera a dazzling smile. "Hello, cats of the Clans, and welcome to the first episode of the awesomest TV series on ClanTV!" "Goldenflower's Cooking is better!" someone yelled from the crowd. "NO, IT ISN'T!" the rest of the audience shouted. Squirrelflight stifled a laugh and continued on. "A heartbroken cat contacted us a couple of days ago. She needed advice on her love life." Squirrelflight pointed at Leafpool, who pressed a button on her remote. A screen lowered from the ceiling and a projecter hummed on, projecting Shimmerlake's message. Then, grinning cheerfully, Leafpool called, "Come on up, Shimmerlake!"

A cat with a pillowcase on her head was tossed onto the stage. "WHAT THE **** **(there may** **be children reading)** AM I DOING HERE? LET ME GO, YOU ******* *****S, BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!" Squirrelflight looked at Leafpool acusingly. "What did you do?!" Leafpool looked down, seemingly interested in her claws. A smirk graced her face as she replied, "I may or may not have ordered Tigerstar to catch Shimmerlake and bring her to the show so we could have more views..." Squirrelflight smiled. "Great idea!" Ignoring the string of curses coming from the pillowcase, Squirrelflight walked over to Shimmerlake and whipped the pillowcase off her head. "Sorry we had to bring you here this way. We got your message, if you can't tell!" Shimmerlake glared at her. "Do you have anything to say about it?" "Yes, actually!" Squirrelflight replied, beaming.

"We feel like you should find out what his feelings are towards you, but chances are he wasn't head over heels with you if he moved Clans without thinking about you. If you really love him, then there is one option that doesn't involve him and two options that both involve dishonoring yourself! Sweetie, you got yourself into a mess. If you want to play it safe, look at all the other toms in the clan! They can't _all_ be dopey and ignorant, can they? The second option is to secretly meet up with him at night. Play a Leafpool." Leafpool glared at Squirrelflight as she said this, but gestured for her to continue. "The final option for you is to switch clans to be with him! That's a lot of commitment, though, and would it be worth it? Shimmerlake, I can say I'm deeply sorry for the mess you got yourself into. I hope this helped!" Squirrelflight smiled after finishing, and looked out at the crowd. "Ya'll, this is only some of my wisdom! Well, I should credit the reviewers... but yeah! If you need help, tweet us something at **Squirrelyflight_is_da_bestest**!" Almost immediatly, a tweet came in:

 **frostXreed_is_epic frostpaw tweets:**

 _ **Dear Squirrelflight and Leafpool,**_

 _ **There's this tom, I really like him, and I think he likes me, but I don't know what to do! I'm not very good at love, and we're best friends. I don't wanna ruin that with love troubles. We're always together, but it has gotten more awkward lately, and... well, I just don't know. Help me, Squirrelflight!**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_  
 _ **Frostpaw**_

 _"_ Alright, people! Frostpaw needs your help! Tweet **(review lol)** us your answers and we'll see which one is the best!" Squirrelflight's happy sign off was interrupted by Shimmerlake making a break for the emergency exit door. Leafpool waved her hand towards Shimmerlake and mewed, "Get her, boys!" to Hawkfrost and Tigerstar. The security guards both sprinted after the lithe she-cat. A large crash resulted from backstage moments later. Squirrelflight looked behind her, then looked back at the camera. "Umm... well, thanks for watching! Have a nice day, and make sure to tune in for the next episode of SLTS!"


	3. On Hiatus

**So you guys, I'll be posting this on all of my fanfics. I've been lately uninspired, and will be putting off updating until I feel like I'll be able to write again... xD Thank you all for being awesome, and make sure you follow this fanfic so you'll be able to know if I update! ;) ily all, thanks for your support! - NerdyKitty003**


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